Wednesday, March 28, 2007

i began to hate dreaming. i dislike myself losing control of my dream, letting it to direct my rationality. i woke up having phobia towards marriage, sheesh.

peow booked tickets to taiwan and is not really cheap though he got it from natas fair. we are going for 8d7n :) something to cheer me up after so many ridiculous things that have happened to me lately.

i'm beginning to feel dreadful when it comes to work. i thought i could trust that they were nice people. wells, never be too trusting should be the common saying eh. perhaps work is work, being nice is just secondary. accusations are so sudden and acute and cold-blooded. nobody really care about others, just themselves. EEEKS. i'm totally disgusted la.

san signs off. 4:44 PM
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Friday, March 16, 2007

Ever tried walking away after quarrelling and two parties got lost in the crowd? i guess many should know what kinda scene i'm referring to. but ever tried meeting each other in the crowd when both went the opposite direction?

i was listening to Tank - dong le. this song brought me back to those bittersweet past. i remember he and i quarrelled in bugis (near the chinese temple) and parted our ways. i still remember myself walking aimlessly around bugis, thinking of going home straight but somehow my heart told me not to, yet. this aimless stroll brought me to bugis village and as i walked past those shops, i saw him from far. i smiled almost immediately and him too. he walked towards me and held my hand tightly. this is all about fate and affinity. i believe we share this same affinity.

as i recalled this part of my memories, i find it amazingly sweeet. can't helped smiling to myself. songs only became meaningful after you relate the lyrics with your past and most desired fantasy. :)

hoorays! i am officially done with my strategic mgt proj, phew~

san signs off. 9:41 PM
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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

on a lighter note, i adores my dear for cuddling me tightly and letting me to feel his warmth. i lost control of my emo, as usual. and as usual, he became the victim of my 'vulnerability'.

i need him. from time to time, it has always proven to be the case.

i miss him telling me, "you're the only one for me". he told me he has already completely given his heart away (to me) after the 3rd month, which i really didn't know that was what has happened. he gives me joy.

and on a even lighter note, i've been driving! of course with his supervision la. hees. actually life isn't that bad, just that i'm pessimistic when i'm alone. and i think i need dosage of my junie lei and qi! haven been out together for so long already. and australia trip is postponed till end of the year due to some reasons. so peow and i have other plans during this holiday, i'm planning taiwan! hees.

san signs off. 9:02 PM
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over the years do you feel like you've grown into someone, sometimes u've difficulty identifying who you are actually?

have i change or has the environment change me? i feel like i don't know how to befriend a friend with a naked heart. there is this barrier that separates my true self and my so-called newfriends. or maybe the suspicion of them having bad intention contradicts my real side and the hypocritic side. i'm beginning to feel pathetic as i could only reveal my innermost thoughts to people whom i trust, which is really a small tiny group. my family (sometimes they are too busy), my peow (most of the times he's too busy) and few other buddies (they are either not in sg or they are also too busy). the moment i know i have to be independent, fear befalls on me. i dont like it but neither could i avoid it.

it hurts even more when people whom i initially do trust, betrayed me. is my judgement that poor? because i always seem to get into such situations.

till this point, i know the only way is to get even stronger.

san signs off. 8:33 PM
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Saturday, March 10, 2007

woke up with a subconscious mind as if i was still in my dream. all vague images and all i can remember was being as carefree as a bird in the sky.

just yesterday, i came to rejustify the fact that people are selfish. not that i didn't expect them to be, just that within myself i would still offer my assistance before seeing through their selfishness. don't know how many times will i have to undergo such contradictions in life in my university days.

you guys watch ella's that show? in the beginning i really find this show silly but in subsequent episodes, i slowly fell in love with it. if people living in this world could be as innocent as what it was shown, wouldn't the world get so much transparent? :(

struggles. when will it ever stop?

san signs off. 1:29 PM
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Thursday, March 08, 2007

are you afraid of changes?

witnessing changes only made me wanting to hide in my comfort zone, as long as possible. then i will start to wonder, are they changing too rapidly or am i getting stagnant for too long? studying makes me feel alittle retarded in some ways when i see how people have already advance in their lives. not that i'm envious, just that i'm really not those kids who love studying. the stress out of mugging and rushing projects does drive me close to depression, sometimes. because i don't see meaning in those exams and projects. this relentless pursuit of mine is to get the cert which has became the minimum requirement for many companies.

thinking of december holiday, i was then so much more carefree. working everyday with an aim to hit my sales target and knowing that equivalent to more money. i've no worries other than working hard during working hours. knocking off means i'm a free bird. with monetary incentive, i'm more than just motivated. ;)

my friends who are enjoying their work now, jiayou! not everyone is given a golden chance like you guys do. i'm proud of you guys!

san signs off. 11:33 AM
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since chinese new year till up-to-date, i feel busy everyday. boring stuff aside, i felt much doted by people around me. my friends do remember my birthday.

today my excolleague drove down to my house and pass me my belated pressie. it was a bag and i realised suddenly i have more white bags than black ones. :) i felt loved, especially when i'm sick. and surprisingly, my estee colleagues got me a pressie too. thanks for that sweeet thought, i felt loved like a princess. hees.

my loveydovey life is somehow back on track. i can feel it and i'm enjoying these moments. if life can be so much smoother....

san signs off. 12:06 AM
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Friday, March 02, 2007

photos that were taken during cny. :) they are not in sequence and watever it is, i truly enjoyed every minute with my sweetest family and my tennis friends. also, training with my estee friends was fun too!

at changi airport, sending osk and clement off.


giv's 21st birthday!

at training center.




hotel stay at marina mandarin! to celebrate for february birthday babies :)

mng leather bag and necklace with 'G' pendant from us to giv!

braun buffel key pouch from us to clement!
guess bag from peow.
mng bracelet from ling.
windchime from dap and ben.
tops earrings and bangle from osk mony and clement.

accessories from my brothers :) my birthday gifts.pull&bear jacket from us to osk!

at geylang having our supper.


valentine's gift from peow. he coloured it :)magnetic keychain from him as well :)

san signs off. 6:11 PM
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