Saturday, April 29, 2006

awful. i'm in sucha awful emotional status right now.

you know how it feels to burst out into tears when you hear your most beloved's voice on the other end of the phone? it's so beyond my control. it's so unbearing to let your tears go out of control when you were really reluctant to let your most beloved to know you cried. i guess he heard my weeping and was rather upset too that he doesn't know what else he can do other than telling me he will call me again tonight (which is our next morning).

i miss him so much, too much. literally.

saturday night is too enticing. was sitting in the middle on my hall, tuning into fm93.3, all those love songs melodized my head with all past saturdays which were ever spent with him. i wished he'll be home soon. this soon is another 21days, another 3weeks. rather long, to me.

life tastes so salty without him. only to find tears everywhere.

san signs off. 8:03 PM
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counting down: 21days.

i'm home! just went for tuition ;) i quite like this present lifestyle, waking up early on saturday morning, feeling fresh after my tuition! that better prepare me for my 2nd paper's revision. oh wells, just another memorising task.

i quite like this present lifestyle, except the fact that my dearest isn't around.

i gave him a ring this morning, before i head out for tuition. i was thinking he might call me during my tuition, judging on the timing he usually call, that's why i did it before he can do so! he mentioned that his hp isn't usually switched on, and implying that i was really lucky to catch him when his phone is on! ;) then after, he waited for my tuition to end and called me before he went for bed. and i thought that was really a sweet thing~ love him sooo much.

on wednesday, went to apply for temp job at ntuc income along with lei. no news yet, and according to lei's friends, the temp job isn't as wonderful as pre-described. lousy feedback is kinda turnoff, but i still wish i can get a decent paying temp job! please do call me else i would have to jobhunt again. talking about getting tight purse-string? haha and there we went for shopping at marina square! oooops. i got myself a white knitted bikini set, a white top and a pair of zara dollie shoes! i'm lovin' it! can't wait to wear them and show my peowpeow. *missing you again dearest*

gotten my cashmere red madrids! they are sooo beautiful...on my feet! haha~ okays peeps, wish me lucks for exams! ;)

san signs off. 1:08 PM
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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

counting down: 25days.

my dearest has called! talking to him simply feels too goooood. =) marvellous start for a day indeed! he's now in philadelphia, staying in the campus hostel. he has been travelling so much, hope he has been enjoying it.

talking to him makes me so envious of his female classmates! while they were in new york, they shopped in those specialised branded boutiques! although it's only slightly cheaper than what's selling in sg, it's just too tempting not to buy them. peow bought nothing for himself, other than a hooded-jacket and a levis top for me! i thought he shouldn't buy for me yet, i'm worried he won't have enough to spend there leisurely. but i guess my worries are unfounded, i forgot that he is already a working adult, still, save more for yourself honey.

lei just introduce an ntuc income data-entry job! i really dont mind to do such boring job as long as i've income!! if everything's fine, we will be going down tomorrow! i don't mind studying alittle lesser for my exam, i need the job! at most i study more now. *shower me with luck!*

san signs off. 1:24 PM
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Monday, April 24, 2006

counting down: 26days.

tonight is a tough one to get past with. hear nothing from peow, no email, no call, no sms, nothing. this blank vacants my world and it's now an empty shell filled with some undesirable sadness.

this is gonna be a rough ride. i've been looking into our photos and making attempt to satisfy my desire for him with all our photos. but it only end up making me to miss him even more than before. i read all the emails he has wrote to me, all those ecards he has sent me, i know i can't do without him. now, i onli wish that my exam will begin promptly. only this way, time will speed by. only then, my peow will be once again back into our nest. really hope to hear from you soon.

wholesome of loves, i will be strong. i will.

www.sweetgift.com.sg hey gurls, go take a look! my friend is investing in this korean-specialised online shopping. it's still in the process of building up, so many more things will be added on! i love quite a few tops and the accessories are pretty awesome too! ;)

san signs off. 11:15 PM
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Sunday, April 23, 2006

counting down: 27 days.

it was really nice to receive peow's first email. felt so close to him though we are miles apart.

got energised instantly and started my mugging. was indeed inefficient! *smilEs*

just signed up vPost. all along, i wanted to get hold of victoria's secret's apparels! and their initimate wearings, in particular! ;) but can only start my online shopping when i start my partime job, which is still far from being practical.

anyways, that's something motivating, isn't it?

missing my honey every minute every second. hoping he's been sleeping well. heart aches when i know he only slept for a few miserable hours. and their internet charges are exp! 10mins for $2. ;(

san signs off. 11:26 PM
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Saturday, April 22, 2006

i feel like the most fortunate woman whenever he calls! ;) he didn't abandon the hassle of calling me even though he is now in new york. he has already called me three times, i really find that real sweet of him. he misses me, just like how much i crave for him right now.

he definitely is the right man for sansan. *loves*

now, it's 10.27 in the morning. he will be going his college today and it's in new york. i think all of these are way cool. new york in my eye resembles a paradise of love at first sight. must be watching too many romance movies! haha. *i'm finally smiling again* his simple calls are magical. he gotta jiayou there and put up his best! love you love you love you honey.

getting my 2nd pair of birkies from bridget on my first paper. then, it's the asos order! can't wait to get hold of them! actually, i needed more frantic shopping, but is financially restricted. :( conversing with peow's sister makes me more determined to earn big bucks after i graduate in another 1.5 year time!

my other current focus is, driving. i'm completing my stage 3 very soon! then after, i can book for my tp driving test!
daph: i can't book yet, because i've not taken my auto-car class yet.

i miss you peowpeow. promise to do well for my exams and will study very very hard.

san signs off. 10:25 PM
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Friday, April 21, 2006

counting down: 29 days.

have been trying to blog, but blogger fails me.

my dearest peow has left. he is now flying towards a faraway land and my heart has also flown to reach this faraway land. i miss him so much, no one can fathom how badly i need him.

this morning, at 5.05 a.m. he checked in together with his fellow course mates at the airport. his parents, his sister and I left, after he told us so, at about 4.45 a.m. on the way back to his house, i didn't drop a single tear. by the time i stepped back into his bedroom, everything felt so familiar yet all of a sudden, it has become so foreign to me. you know what i mean? it was like an hour ago, he was still beside me, we just woke up preparing to send him off. one hour later, i'm all alone in his bedroom, entrapping thoughts all about him in my head. the next second before i know it, my eyes are red and wet.

i slept till around one in the afternoon. my lunch was his mum's homecook food, "snow fish stirred fried with crunchy veg". he should know what it is. then after, his dad drove his sister to work and me home. at my residential area, i had a so-called coffee session with his dad and mum. at that strucking period, i felt as if i'm already their daughter-in-law. they went to woodgrove and i went home, i was really exhausted by then.

ever since this tuesday, i'm together with peow. we sticked together, or i should say i'm trying to spend as much time with him as possible. even if it means missing my sleeping hours, i just wanna spend it with him. in that few days, i cried several times and he coaxed me saying i'm really like a child, with that smile on his face. i just can't imagine myself without him, i told him it's like i'll lose the center of focus when he is gone. he said i must concentrate on my exams, which i will. i will start my reading on the 3rd module, the detesting history of mgt thoughts. starting exam in another 5days' time.

tomorrow morning, my 3rd tuition shall take its course. i felt accomplished when i can feel the rapport between me and my student. it really feels so good. ;) at least for now, that's my only consolating point that i can think of.

i miss my dear very badly...another 29 days before i can be in his arms. i miss his that sleepy eyes whenever he is tired. i miss talking to him on the phone before i turn in. i miss receiving his lovey-dovey smses. i miss everything that got to do with peowpeow.

i know i sounded rather weak, but since when i was strong? i can't be independent when i've fallen in love so deeply for this special man in my life.

i awaits his arrival back home.
"Our love journey has been such a pleasure
Because of y o u."


dearie, you will only be in your comfort zone after adapting a few days there. even now, you are still in the air. these photos we took while having farewell dinner with my family before you left.

san signs off. 11:05 PM
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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

it's just too tear evoking. upon reading this, my tears almost gave way.
dearest peow, it's such a comforting note. muacks, i can never stop loving you, can i?

If I Had One Wish
by Laura Shigo

If I had one wish,
It would be for you,
And I hope to God that
It will come true.

If I had one wish,
think it would be,
For you to spend the
rest of your life
With me.

So I guess that this poem
has one thing to say,
I'll love you forever,
and more every day.

san signs off. 2:31 PM
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Monday, April 17, 2006

nowadays, i'm living in ticking fear. it sounds like a mock, but i'm afraid of time. every minute that passes by gets me duller.

he's leaving; exams are coming; i'm not quite prepared yet; worrying of not getting a partime job in time... all these don't reflect good in any way. getting too uptight, can't bring myself down to pen my exam notes. pinning that blogging will be of some help.

carefree is the word. all troubles and worries to be at the back of my mind! it's rather impossible. because i always think too much. people have been telling me, take everything easy. it's easier said than done.

san signs off. 1:19 PM
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Thursday, April 13, 2006

in another one week's time, my dearest dearest peowpeow is gona fly to U.S.

my life is gonna taste bland.

the slightest thought of not seeing him for one whole month elevates tears. while struggling with that helpless gonna-be-fact, i'm now mugging notes for exams. not quite a preferred way to weaken my pressuring tears though.

what to do-what to do-what to do.

having like 5/6 exam modules in poly days didn't seem that hard as compared to what i'm having now. it's just 4 modules and i'm almost driven to the unfeeling wall. yesternight i've a very strong urge, which is to WORK. at my age, studying with no income is a bitchchore.

and i guess my over-nervousness is remedified. i got a tutoring job, starting from this sat. every wed and sat, bringing me some cash to calm my nerves. i will gladly say that that small amount is not enough to quench my thirsty spendingspree; but for now, i don't seem to have an alternative, do i? i wished the exams to end very soon and i wished to get landed on a bigbuckies-partimejob for the next two months. while i spend 29 lonely days...

someotherphotos.

san signs off. 2:23 PM
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Wednesday, April 05, 2006

the trip to genting was...

can't find any words to describe it. it was filled with fun and some regrets. i had my bits of enjoyment on the very first day there. reaching there 4plus a.m. in the morning and hang on to on-going activities all the way till nearly 12 midnight, this makes the day real long. but it was also the happiest day throughout the trip.

the next day peow and me went down to KL for some chill-out. regretteably, plans were ruined by emotion outburst. even till now, i'm remorseful for not preventing all these from happening. the trip was meant to compensate the one whole month when peow's gonna be away from my sight, sadly, luck ain't on my side. though there's no such thing as who's right or wrong in rs, these disturbing thoughts burped the "sorry" from me to him, i'm hopelessly unreasonable.

bless our hongkong trip.

submitted the last report, which was really a hassle to many. even during the last lecture, i overheard someone tearing up the textbook because of overloading stress. she even called the headquarter to request for a deferrment for this module to the last sem. lucky me, i've passed this hurdle, and more are coming on way.

i miss my honey. in another less than 3weeks, he will be so far from me.

san signs off. 3:43 PM
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