My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with

i need you.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

What Lei was discussing in her lastest blog entry, conincidentally, that is also my topic for the day. Last night the thought "Do you prefer a guy who loves you more than you do or a guy who you love more than he does?" flooded my head. Profuse 'historical' matters drop down my mind as I gave it a deeper thought. Undoubtedly, my previous loves contributed more, irregardless whether it is emotionally or practically, comparing to what I've gave in. He pointed out he believes he is not up to my high expectations which are too demanding under certain circumstances. And he couldn't do comparably good or even better. Disillusion attacking my fragile soul. He is just being truthful, nothing's wrong with that. Yet perhaps, hearing out the truth is invisibly painful. Coming back to the thought dilemma. I guess majority of us will go for a guy who loves and place you before everything. Conversely, I rather to be with a guy who I really love even though I know his love has limitations even though I know I might get utterly emotionally impaired.

Lei also brought out, not in exact phrasing, "No one knows about the future and how do you expect my assurance to be like". Just wanna tell ya, Jeremy questions you because you mean alot to him and exactly the point is you have not given him the assurance he needs. He is merely having fears of losing you. Why I know about this? Because someone in my life right now made me realise what's fear in love. I enquire this and that helplessly, in hope of retrieving a little more sense of security from his words. Sadly, he is not good at expressing himself in words. He said time will tell everything. Or maybe when you're frightened to let go of someone, no matter what kinda assertion he tried to put forward, our heart becomes reluctant to accept. Whatever it is, I withhold my stand that I make the most rightful choice to be with him. Bliss kinda feeling surrounds me whenever he is with me. Like a forbidden dream turning into a reality.

While he was playing a rally match with his constituency members, I can't take my eyes off him. Then a thought struck me. "He is wonderful" & "He is mine" I love him. Spent like more than 24hrs with him from friday till saturday. Priceless time spent and shared.

Don't let the dream burst into bubbles so soon.

san signs off. 9:58 AM
_________________________________________________________

p r i n c e s s . s a n 3

life's too short to devote time dwelling over irreversible facts.

in my life, I wish upon eternal happiness with all my loved ones.

a bonus will be to see myself at the top of my career in another few years' time.

LIKES

1. Being appreciated by him.
2. Have all his love and attention.
3. Yakking nonstop with all my buds, anywhere anytime.
4. INSANE SHOPPING :)

Peaceful Exits

.ling. .daphne. .monica. .yuying. .shinleei. .anna. .benny. .joyce. .venassa. .amanda. .ruixiang. .givany. .jialin. .weijun. .elaine. .joycee. .jasline. .bro. .ying.

.photos.

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CHITCHATTY

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