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i need you.

Friday, July 23, 2004

Unpredictable how things are heading to. Seeing him so dejected so shagged so helpless really melts my steel-made heart. But I know I cannot lead him on any further. It will bring even more miseries to him. He needs time to heal everything. He was once deeply hurt. I promised him I will never be the one breaking his heart again. I broke it. In my heart, a jerk of painfulness strike me.  However, I can't bring myself to stay by his side any longer. A visible strain in us. I may not find any guy who will love me as much as he does. I may not find anyone who will put me before his everything. Even if that's the case, it will not be the reason for me to stick to him. Fair to him, isn't it? Deceiving you hurts me. Not lesser than you. If I do so, then I'm seriously deserve to be slaughtered. He deserves treatment that is much better than this. Letting him go is to giving his right gal the chance to love him dote him take care of him. He will search for her. She will appear. A matter of time. Meanwhile please take care of yourself and cheer up. I'm a lousy slut you once thought i was.. Don't harbour thoughts of me to continue hurting yourself. Give her an opportunity. Give yourself another breathing space. Cool down and you'll realise I'm actually not very important to you after all. Thanks for fulfilling my wish of receiving roses from you even after we've became friends. I'm adapting myself with the life without you. If i can, so can you. Why am i saying all these?? You'll never log in to my blog. In the past, you do so because I strongly requested you to. Now, there is no more reasons for you to. So yeah, i'm speaking to the air.

Cried again&again. How strong-willed I am, still can't locked my tears to gush out of the eyegate. Just feel so sorrie and helpless to see him in this way. If I got another alternative. I will not want to see him in such a poor state. Survive you have to be. Can tell you guys, I hate myself entirely now. Who am I to create people's ups and downs??? ):

Trying out with you is my choice in the end. Success or failure. Whatever it will be I still must give it a shot. Don't wish to live in regrets. To be truthful to you, I still care about yc perhaps in a friend's position or more. Me myself I'm not clear. If I'm with you, don't doubt. I'm true with my feelings. Once i'm not, i will mark the end for it. Phobia. Don't wanna hurt anybody anymore.

If life is simple.

If life is not so complicating.

If life doesn't involve so many people.

I should admit all of those are excuses.

We are just not strong enough.





san signs off. 9:18 PM
_________________________________________________________


p r i n c e s s . s a n 3


life's too short to devote time dwelling over irreversible facts.

in my life, I wish upon eternal happiness with all my loved ones.

a bonus will be to see myself at the top of my career in another few years' time.

LIKES

1. Being appreciated by him.
2. Have all his love and attention.
3. Yakking nonstop with all my buds, anywhere anytime.
4. INSANE SHOPPING :)


Peaceful Exits

.ling. .daphne. .monica. .yuying. .shinleei. .anna. .benny. .joyce. .venassa. .amanda. .ruixiang. .givany. .jialin. .weijun. .elaine. .joycee. .jasline. .bro. .ying.

.photos.

The Past

June 2004
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