My attitude for him changed tremendously over the past one week. It's my fault for everything that has happened and what is going to. I blamed myself for committing this awful sin. I created the grievances of 3people. Someway Somehow I've hafta put an end to it. 

Dilemma. Considerations. Worries. Soft-hearted. Feelings. Commitment. Responsibility. These made my decision contradicting. Part&parcel of life as I listened. Life stages revolve around making a choice. Major's and minor's. It's even more practical when it comes to love. Love is sweet&romantic. Hiccups disrupt its endowed beauty. Darken the entire scenario when you are to choose between 2. Exactly, it'll be so much easier IFfeelings were triggered for only a single party. And the problem is, that's not the case. Friends' advices were spinning my head. However, it helps. Thanks people, esp SPTC buds&Junnie.

Long term romance was never simple. To be in it is to take up a challenge. I challenged it. Approaching to the end, I failed. Utterly. Apologies to the one who has been with me for more than a year's time. I'm not confident in giving ya anymore assurance after letting you fall so badly. Tears i dropped weren't just guiltiness-mixed. But also, love-mixed. Once I thought everything was processing perfectly fine and we will last forever. Lasting forever is a dream. Letting you go is, perhaps till the closing point, a reality.

'U' might be remorseful. I'm telling you, you shouldn't be. 'Coz in fact I led ya on. That's why. I can picture myself with you. Playing tennis, our common interest plays a huge role. Clicking well. Chemistry in the air. I enhaled. Doubts like 'what if 'she' enters your social circle again" "what if I'm not capable of this and that" drew me back.

I don't wish to retreat. Don't wanna be a coward in romance. A part of me that's so crucial. Give me time. I need it seriously. Meanwhile wanna concentrate in my studies too. Cool off for awhile. It may do everyone good. But if one of 'you' has choose to back out, voice it out. I'll respect it.

In the end, i may be left with nothing. At least, I'm relieve.