My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with

i need you.

Saturday, June 05, 2004

Can anyone understand my inner thoughts and feelings right now? Feel like letting go. that's the hint my heart had dropped. Ambiguousity aroused. i'm having a qualm. is everything coming to an end? or should i put it in this wae. every good thing has an ending. no such thing as everlasting. i'm uncertain of the future. though i've pictured myself and him along the long path ahead of us, i still have to face the music. no matter how beautiful you've imagined the future to be, at the end of the day it is only an unrealistic idealistic form of illusion. i need not hide the truth. Trepidation of each tomorrow . Feelings fade.
"Will your love for me persevere?"

If your heart is no longer with me, i'm the culprit. i'll blame no one else but me myself. i'm selfish especially when you are around like you've always commented. have not managed to get an answer for that.
Yesterday was with YingYing for more than 12hours. Chatted for unexpectedly long hours. hahaaa.. Amazing, isn't it? we mentioned one part about our bfs. terrible feeling when i got some cow sense into me. i've been ill-treating him. *glums* We knocked off at roughly at 0100h as there was a grand function held in The Regent - The Mercedes Ball. And you know gurls.. We dragged here abit and there abit. So by the time we were home, most of the people are already in their dreamlands. My dear gave me a surprise. He appeared at the hotel entrance and sent me home. Initially, we agreed on me going back by the provided transport since it'll be very late. In the end, he came. Of course, i'm happy. Appreciate it as well. However, i'm thinking.. Do i deserve it? Do i worth his effort. Am i the right gurl for him? Will he be my final destinated partner? Will he love me juz as much as now as time passes?
I can see his symtoms of jadeness. If things continue to head in this direction. I predict the ending will be not long from now. I don't wish to drive on to this dead end. But do i have a choice? Am i the one holding on to the steering wheel?
He has called me a few minutes ago. I won't get to see him tomorrow. His family idea again. Tears wet my eyes. Rolling down uncontrolleably. He knows. Yet, he failed to fathom why i cried. He feels that i'm throwing some ridiculous temper on him. He don't understand. I miss him alot. *signs*

san signs off. 11:16 PM
_________________________________________________________

p r i n c e s s . s a n 3

life's too short to devote time dwelling over irreversible facts.

in my life, I wish upon eternal happiness with all my loved ones.

a bonus will be to see myself at the top of my career in another few years' time.

LIKES

1. Being appreciated by him.
2. Have all his love and attention.
3. Yakking nonstop with all my buds, anywhere anytime.
4. INSANE SHOPPING :)

Peaceful Exits

.ling. .daphne. .monica. .yuying. .shinleei. .anna. .benny. .joyce. .venassa. .amanda. .ruixiang. .givany. .jialin. .weijun. .elaine. .joycee. .jasline. .bro. .ying.

.photos.

The Past

June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
June 2009

CHITCHATTY

To view photos