spinning headache!

My head is compelling for a rest. But I can't go along with it.

So many nights' sleep, as if they were all pretentious ones. They shouldn't be even called sleep. Arghhh.
Waking up every morning, since three days ago, head suffering from giddiness and eyelids could hardly lift themselves. So tell me how does night-sleeping help huh? Closing my eyes for several hours, to know my brain hasn't been taking a break at all! So what with my eyes shut? Arggghhh.

*head screaming in pain*

Later of the day, should be in the late late evening, meeting osk clement and my dearie for prata. :)
So much to ease my head tremors.

Dread the fact of having a half-day work tomorrow. Damn

Ktv session tomorrow! Hurray! ;) Osky and san shall dominate! *evil laughter*
Hope jiehao and all are joining. Else, just me sp osk and clement. As they've mentioned, old birds' activity. Ha~
Thereafter, the rest will come in place for makan-ing. Chill-out laters.
Joyceee, wanna see ya! And giv ah dap ah alvin ah jiehao ah ling ah..........All better turn up!
Benny, next time then~ =)

*head stressing my acupoints with jerking ouCh-es*

dearie i miss youuuuu..
May us fight against our differences, be more forgiving and let our love grow stronger each every day.
I Love You.

Still having great feeling~ hee, with my hair i mean. :)

So neat and makes me look as if i'm full of robust, even when my brain is half-dead.

Changed my blog's twisting photos. So narcisstic of san! Zhi-Lian, always sound better with the surname Tan. *Joyce Tan* Zhi-Lian Ong? EWWwww *hair stand* gross leh~
Miss you gurlie..

Later meeting honey, so happieeeee.
He's having practical classes at Alexandra Hospital. From 8:30a.m. worrr. Waking up as early as his dearie me. :( *wanna hide in the bedsheet* cooling weather, rainy morning, it accomodates so well with a brainless oinky activity. Sleeping!! heee..

dearie's hp is suffering from weakness. Its energy level signals low low low. so nice of him to have inform me he's switching it off, else he won't be able to contact me later on. Okay, it's nothing very specccciaaal, still *muack*

Rebonded my hair!!
Hee, did it at Jean Yips. :) Expensive siaaa..

Initial thought was to heed osky's, head to fareast's Jus for Hair - salon for rebonding.
Too piG to tighten my butt on mrt, all the way down to town for a rebonding session!



My revamped hairstyle :)

Look like a Egypt Queen, by one of my male colleague. Doll-y looking, by my other friend.
Sweet, by other. Refreshing, by ling. *she's nodding her head real hard hearing upon 'Egypt Queen' =P
Anyways, it will take some time to adapt myself with this hair. Blunt straight fringe. That's it!
Trying something newww.. ^-^
The hairdresser was recommending me to digital perm. Saying I would look good in those curlSss..kekeee.. Next time yeah~ hee

*looking into mirror*
Still need time to get used......

Don't know how to get my thoughts rolling. Too many things in my head.
They frustrate me. They upset me. They are killing me. They are pushing me for an answer. They wana actions. *sigh*

Hearing seeing looking at what joycee is undergoing wrench everyone's heart. Her love story has fast past the bedtime, everyone knows the story has marked with a ridiculous ending, yet the main role actress refuses to face it. She is digging for an answer. But an answer is meaningless when broken pieces are beyond salvage. You gota admit things between you and him are all in the past. Nothing revive it. Nothing can revive it again. Childish him has chose another gurl, so what if he said he still love you? The reality is, he is with another gurl now. Whatever he try to explain, all is plain bull. Forget about this heartless jerk. It's the memory that is holding you back, it's no more the current him. No one can help you, except yourself. We are here to lend our ears, physically & mentally for you but if you rather to continue indulging yourself in his words and accusations, all of us shall just step back. 'coz till now, you still choose to believe him, one who has betrayed your trust. Take it or not, he has changed, he already lied to you. He did. Just believe it!

Okay, I'm fuming. I understand the pain she's having now, but who hasn't been hurt before? Others can let go the past and move towards an ever-changing future, just why can't you?! *sigh*

A friend said once, "not that you can't let go, it's that you can't find a reason to, that's why you are still holding on"
Isn't it good that you can't cook up reason to let go? Some may agree, some may think otherwise.
When you realise loving someone is not enough to keep your love burning, will you try harder and tolerate all pains or thinking to let go your hand and give him his freedom?
I love this man alot. He's my miracle, if you call it. I put away my pride when it comes to quarrel. Almost lost my old self in the process. Maybe this is love. The power of love, too much for anyone to take.
And maybe he is a man. His pride holds even more. He refused to budge. He could storm into another room, leaving me in a separate closing.
Pause to think, we have so many differences. our Thinking, the way we handle problems, the personality we have..
It's our incompatibility causing all our quarrels? Think so..
You are a man, whose behaviour so much resembles your dad. You hate people to instruct you what to do, what not to. You resent people restricting your movements, your actions. Whatever you feel is right, you would go ahead, this sentence sounds so familiar rightt? Repeated it umpteem times.
On the contrast, I'm one who do control people. I'm one who can never be as tolerant as your mother.
Reality brings heart-throbs. You won't change, and I can hardly change too. Not just hiding things from me will help. Such a long road ahead, if we were to walk through together, how to survive with closed communication.
you can live without 'investing' so much in those activities, yet you choose to do it doubly. Even knowing my discontentment. I already gave in by allowing it, just asking you to 'invest' lesser. just LESSER. You still can't do it.
i'm a control freak. I admit.'coz i'm a xiao nv ren.
A da nv ren, works with independence. Won't meddle your affairs. don't you think we are back to the same point again?

Do you know what you need and want?
Do you need me? Do you want me?
Hais.
Why are there so many problems? Why can't we just be happily together?
Why can't you accomodate alittle?

Ya studying all the way this week.
Take this time for us to think whether our presence in each other's life is for the good or bad.

A day to get excited about. It's today. *big grin*
Meeting the gurls later, they are qi junie leilei ;) Having marcheeeeeee, hurray! Long time since my mouth tasted yummmy rosti! soooo looking forward to it. lalalallalalalalallaaaaaa Happie mah, pardon my siao-ness. hahaa~

Then driving up to mount fabor with honey dearie after his work. Even more excited over this. Lurve the place, great ambience that fits all lovers. Love is in the air
san still remembered the first time I was there with honey, he hugged me at my waist from behind, laying a kiss on my shoulder and whispered softly into my ear "I love you". Warms my heart, grabs my soul & deepens my love for my one & only you. The spoiling part is, both of us have to work tomorrow. ;( Anyways, more than contented to have you with me tonight. At such romantic place. ^-^

Rang up NTU to check my admission status. 'coz i've not received any letter yet! Be it rejection or not, there should be some news rightttttt... So yeaps, I called. To my surprise, my so-called 'case' is still pending. Oh man, why is it taking its own sweet time. Gotta wait till early June till I'll know. Luckily I'm working, else I might really really go frantic. Waiting is miserable okay. Haaa, but kiasu Singaporeans like me, I've submitted my online appeal form. Lame enough, it's a less-than-50-words appeal. Not even requesting for my last semester's result. -_-
pinning on a last ray of hope to get in uni..grant my wish, will you? *pleading*


2 magnetic duckies. Just for san.


Chocolate gurlie. Just for sp.


Chocolate boiboi. Just for san. Only for san.

*edition-s exclusively done by N7270*

Blog-reading day.
went throught almost everyone's blogs, of course those who have one and I'm aware of its presence. I've plenty of time to do all these.

Reading blogs enlightens me alittle. Everyone has troubles. Everyone is seeking for happiness. Everyone is searching for a remedy to all woes. To know, everyone is just human. He or she could surface to be so darn glam, yet there's still this bit of complexity pushing their mood to haywire. Everyone is also complicated. Everyone harbours evil thoughts every now and then. Everyone could be an angel. Everyone is just everyone.
Pretty looks do draw a line perhaps. This explains for that contrast.

My working place is in a turmoil. Hell those peeps who are stirring all those unnecessaries up. screw them -_- turning one's life into hell. wanna start WWW III? oh please, get a life! all these are plain childishness ArGggh! here's no difference from a dead city.
Two of my colleagues received a warning letter each last friday. The warning letter is pretty lame, as in its arrival. No verbal warning, and a written one popped on their table. still dare to boast about your law studies -_- And it stated being late, disobedience to instructions and so and so. Don't you think it's lame? 'coz other than lateness issue, all the others just can't seem to appear valid.
Then monday, one of the kena colleagues received another warning letter again. This time, it said disturbance to others and so and so. Oh man, how could they even thought of using such tooooopid terms to convict her guilty. And she cried, too angry I reckon. To add on, she always leave the company late just to finish her job. Even if it's 10pm. Why are they doing this to her. She hasn't been here since yesterday. Wondering if she's tendering her resignation.
Were to be me, I would scram. No second thoughts. They are making it far too obvious. They are compelling for a self-resignation.
A 3rd warning letter, she has to pack and go immediately. One of the longest worker here, and this is what she deserves. Talking about nice environment? Total bull.
Jap doesn't like confrontation and conflicts. To resort such dirty means to get rid of someone in your company. Ewwwwwww

Last weekend was all about ktv ktv ktv prata tennis peeps junie & dearie all the wayyyy..
And jiehao & I bumped into a bapok! haaa..can't forget the way he discussed about her! "aiyo if I were her I would get a cup C or D lahhhh, why get A siaaa.." hahhaaa..sooo funny~

It's darling joycee. Always remember we're by your side. You have us. Never alone. Never lonely. Never~ Remember that gurlie! ;)

Today san is moody. Maybe today conincides with san 13th, which refers to an unlucky day for moi. ;(

Not about falling down. Not about stepping on sore bird shit. It's just me, myself feeling down down down. Tired? I am, to cover up for sleeping so unwell last night. As if I didn't had a wink. Maybe half a wink. ..consoling myself.. :((

Bad day. Bad bad day. Can't get myself down to do anything. Is my brain working? *knockknock* I don't think so, it has no response.

Sucks, this totally sucks. When clock struck 12, I hurried out of the office. Literally. So damn hungry. To the extent of almost fainting, how about it? ;((( Thought dumping food down the stomach should do my day some goodness; to my dismay it didn't. Or maybe it did, for that miserable split second. oh man, today's only wednesday. Still has 2 days before saturday is here. Another 2.5days to really be free on my own. I need freedom!! ;(((( Rotting here. Rot Rot Rot. Doing accountant's work when I'm an admin staff. Not complaining, 'coz my colleague was trying to occupy my time, seeing me idling around wasting. She was trying to be nice. And also at the same time, she could get her dued tasks completed. Yesh, at least san did some good deeds huh~ ;)

;) VS ;((((

hows that? It means my day is still very much of down-ness! Argh.

Wednesday. this. I hate you.

yur back's aching, ain't you? *sayang* Really wanting to do something for you, something representing my care for you. Hais. But I know I can't. Simply due to I'M WORKING. I will try still. Believe me.

damn bored. Can someone just stop whatever they are doing and TALK to me! Mannnnnn... All my colleagues are burying their head into their piling work. And me...? Happens to be on the direct opposite side. ;( I'm stoning. Staring at the pc. Eyes giving way after torturing them on so many blogs. Even so, there's another 1hour odd ahead. I need to do something, just something something. Time's drawing its own sweet time. Felt tiring sitting on this armchair. Shoulder aching for hell-knows reason.
Oh mannnnnnn..
won't-stop-whining-somebody-save-me............

Ying will be away from singapore to somewhere, hee can't remember where. =p hahaa, she is one big mischievous chick! Refused to inform her dear about this trip, gonna let him worry..oh my..kekeee..Xiao xin dian yooo ;)
And lei is going away to bangkok with her dear and friends. ;) Shop loads and bring back bags weigh heavier than yourself! heeee.. Enjoy shopping gurl ^-^ And so nice to have your dear with you. Double bliss.

Okie, good news to knowing we 4gurls are gona meet this week, hopefully if our schedules allow. Maybe country mana shall do our dinner. *smilEs*

Had a thought a moment ago. That was to arrange dinner with my friends. First on my list, osky and mony, after 12th May. Haa, that osk is rushing for her project on hand. 2nd, eunice. The rest haven't really give a thought, hee let's keep it pending.

This saturday going JB with my colleagues. 3-6pm. Should be home by 8plus or later. See hows. Be fun be fun be fun!!!!

Junie you owe me a ktv session yeah!!! =p

Let's seee..I've wasteddd.......erm, what?!!! only 10mins -_- how saddening. Type slower and mind process laggier, that may do the job. Another 50mins, how am I gonna endureeee..

Corresponding to my previous posting, my saturday, ohhh nono..it's OUR saturday ;)

We decided to let go our anger, frustration, unsatisfaction and our ego; for that very crucial determining moment, and brought us into each other's arms once again. Maybe the ego part is more applicable on me, and frustration suits him more. In my head, here goesss "what if..." however, we should know there's no if when things had already occured. Should put away all these destructive thoughts and enjoy his love his company. What I've always had in mind, all these are pre-destined. We can't escape, as running away aimlessly leads to no exit. We embrace the reality and accept what may comes in our way. Life gets much simplified, isn't it?

Uncertainties shower us with chances to anticipate.
I anticipate patiently.
We may appear sooo weak, nevertheless, I faithfully believe we would try to withstand all obstacles. Successful or not, only we will know. To the least, we attempted.
Times where silly thoughts signal me to raise the distant white flag, not that I want to, it's just a
momentous thought generated by a weakling me. Like I've once said, and always trust that my strength is you, as well as my biggest weakness. Ya my soft spot that calls for all-ways surrender.
I love you. This love is gonna perservere.

NTU letter is nowhere seen. WHY?!! Mannnnn..My patience is running dry. ;(

Today's mother's day! Happie Mother's Day MUMMY!
Called mummy the moment I woke up, hee not at my residence you seeee..Sincere of me to do that right away ^-^
Today too tired to be outside. Good weather to sleep~~~~

Nothing much. Laters.

Enjoyed myself to bits last night catching up with ling and daph. ^-*
Shan't talk about the tooooooopid NYDC, which has such never-ending waiting list, letting us loiter around suntec till our legs ache and decide to camp outside. That's was dumb of us to have realise we could switch to swensens that was few steps away.........And it took us 45mins or more to notice our blur-ness. Gurls!? we were too busy yakking about our daily lives, haha special attention to ling's draftman aka cute guy, we forgot our presence here at suntec was to EAT! Lotsa fun, talking laughing talking louder laughing even louder..... *ooOOps*

Just for you guys information, I'm now fast awake at work, slogging my lots at................BLOGGER! hahha~ Nothing for me again. BUt what's new gurl? Bored bored bored.
Waiting to get out of here, dash home and have my beauty sleep. I need it. Badly.

It's so nice to go home with a friend all the way. And this 'all the way' meaning she's stays sooooo near meeeeee. hee~ We should plan for MORE yeah?? ;)
*ringggggggggg.... ling come out for prata?*

Are we quarrelling? Why are we having cold war because of such trivial matter?
I'm tired to think, 'coz it helplessly drowned me in depression. Thought you would just forget about it and patch things up, so that we could happily spend our saturday. But like what I've said, it's only a thought, no clue of it coming true...
And I will go home and pig my saturday awayyy..And you, I make a guess, spend your day tennis-ing or tv or hanging out with your that ns friend or go pasar malam.....

Happy weekends people! :)

The longer my butt sits in taisei's office, the more affirmed I am that people here are nice. Haha, okie to be straightforward, just lurves to slack around and deal with nuts-equivalent stress workload. ;) hee~

Ever since I work, which is like 3weeks ago...
My head can't really be bothered with nuisance issues. Too brain-dead to get myself upset over spilled milk, though I'm not responsible. think-too-much-syndrome is not totally washed out, but I dare to claim its seriousness has greatly subsided.
I'm tireddd of being the giving-party, tired of soliciting you to treasure yourself, i'm simply exhausted. Behaving not far from an irritating pest.

Why care for him so much when he doesn't bother even alittle?

Yes I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

Was in high spirits after my last semester's results came to light.
A distinction to finally wrap up my polytechnic days, for beautifying purpose, maybe.

And now, someone ruined my day. Not difficult to guess who is it.

What's essential in keeping a relationship alive?
Mutual trust & 2-way frank communication.

Sometimes I take things too seriously. It's not a grave issue after all. I'm still after perfection, whose existence is vaguely detected. Foolish of me to thinking of moulding a flawless match. Here my colleague (closest to), is offering me advice. A readily wife, who has been through loads of quarrels before, like any of us, chose to trust her hubby rather than squabbling every now and then. Of course, something sensible at least. She added on, the man can be in his way, however, he should bear in mind whatever he does, once there's a betrayal she'll never turn back again.
Very true indeed.

yeah baby, i'm given zero-important tasks. So it also says I've nothing much to do other than munching those sour plums.

Sitting here, blogging away, chatting away (msn&colleagues) eating
I'm paid to do all these. How nice. How much easier can it be to pocket these soft-earned bucks?! Can't think of anyyy, do youuu..?
Here doing all miscellaneous jobs, e.g. creating site passes for workers, making orders, what elseeee.......oH! transfering calls, how could I miss that OUT. And of course, can't avoid doing updates for company's database.

Lunched at Junction8. Only with one colleague, whom I'm currently closest to since we're situated in the same admin office. She's dealing with accounts, one very nice person not to miss, the one whose bod is not abit close to a 2 kids mother. hee~ Always looking out for me, advising me to practise what that would benefit myself infront of the boss. :)
Also, we're yakking over latest fashion goods and what we like and what we don't. Just now, even went to window shop alittle before rushing back to office. haaaa..nice lunch break I had today. Enjoyed it! ^-^

dearie watched semi-final soccer match till 5a.m. this morning. Horrible!! Woke up around 10plus for work, how can you tahannnn..sayang you with a kiss *muAckMuACK* oOoopsss. that's two kisses. ha~ better rest early tonight, else those construction upgrades will start all drillings to pierce your dream bubbles. Tonight let's don't meet. erm~ *subjects to mood-fluctuations* hee

back to work, laters.

DARN!
blogged while I was 20mins away from knocking off. And to know that everything is gone. DAmn server!

Hardly remember what I've typed. *frowns*
DAMN SERVER x thousand millions trillions zillionssssssss X-s -_-

Not-too-free working day. Time obviously passed faster than the last 2weeks. ;)

Still mad with what i've diligently typed is nowhere in sight.

Never trust a computer a server internet whatsoever.

My abit-long weekend, I am most commonly seen with my dearie ^-^ Ate at CAfe cartel on saturday for lunch, which was responsible of my appetite-turnoff. Substandard food to serve during peak hour is the best excuse you guys, the so called service oriented runner, can offer; oh please give san a break huh~~ *rolls eye*
Then was at kallang sports stadium, (did I got the name right?) giving honey san's presence-mental support for his game, playing with Sg 8th seeded player. To think about it, that guy was nothing intimidating, dear had no problem catching receiving and returning his balls. dear makes a good opponent, though the score wasn't reflecting as much, lady luck flew cross to his opponent's side I guess. It's more of consistency, that dearie was weak at. They rallied pretty well, hard lightning-speed balls bounced here, on his racket, back there, on his-his racket....It's a good game. Practice makes Perfect; not now though. Your back needs more rest than THIS.
Catch a movie at Suntec, he liked it quite alot.
-menses cramp here and there thoughout-

Sunday was finally here, to discard that N3200. Both hands flagged out to welcome my N7270. :) it's like really FINALLLLLYYYYYY I changed my phone, have been lamenting on it since dunno how many weeks and months ago. Lurve this nokia cool flip-phone. The camera is damn cool, hahaa, at least clearer than my old useless phone that could hardly save any photo!! The night mode is indeed made for people like me, who takes pic day and night and day and night again. haha~ dearie and I just happened to changed phone almost at the same timing.
Great minds think alike *wink at ling*

Spent our monday at chinatown. Ate at Ling Zhi, a mushroooommm-ie steamboat restaurant. You can choose not to have steamboat and make menu orders. As you wish sir and madam. The waitor there was friendly, too friendly that I found him getting to be a loathe OOoops =X Food not bad, lurveee the potato-ladyfinger claypot. The gravy was awesome! Gonna bring mummy there for mother's day celebration ;)

Haaa..And heard my colleagues had fun at KL. One of them (closest to) even claimed to gain 1-inch of fats, I could hardly believe....She's too slim for me to believee..hahaa..her bods is too good to be real as a mother of 2 kids. She doesn't look like one at all, from head to toe. With big nice boobs (define nice?haha) small waistline butts, everything not a so-called motherrrr would have after 2pregnencies. *envious* her boobs are definitely comparable to ying =X kekee..Even before she got pregnent, her boobs are already of substance okay! blabbering too muchhh..

Awaiting to go Australia with dear osk and clement. Hope this time will come true, no more waste waiting. End of this year maybe go somewhere near with him firsttt..Just wish to be alone with him, have him all by myself ;)